still sick

last weekend i thought i was getting better and went gymming on saturday. bad idea. i think while at the gym i either must have stressed out my lungs or i caught something else. this sucks. i've been waking myself up at night coughing and wheezing and sneezing and all sorts of blech. it was worst monday nite i think. i blame stupid pittsburgh for messing up my lungs. my stupid allergy to the mold or whatever is in falling leaves made my lungs inflamed, my asthma worse and just makes things so inconvenient to stay healthy! of course things are my fault also. i should have known better and gone to the doctor earlier instead of waiting until i was wheezing from just walking to class. me ignoring my condition made it even worse. i think that i just didn't want to believe i really have asthma. i mean, to me, allergy induced asthma isn't like i really have it. just get rid of the allergens and i'm fine! as a result of my denial, i was coughing for more than a month last year just before the rock and roll half marathon and i couldn't run! my lungs were just taking so long to heal from a cold and i really shouldn't have gone running when i was still healing. it always makes it worse - when will i learn?

this time i am really resting. even though i know i have the energy to go work out, i have not gone to the gym at all. the thought of hitting those spinning classes monday and today also crossed my mind - maybe if i just take it easy and don't turn the knob so high. but i didn't go because i know that if i'm at the gym i like to work out hard and turn the knob high enough to really get me sweating.

so this week i spent it drinking bowl after bowl of good chinese soup. literally my parents said each drop was precious and they didn't even let our beloved auntie linda drink the soup meant to heal me! today's soup has quail and abalone in it. we don't mess around with our soups! my dad takes great pleasure in healing me. currently i've been doing steroidal inhalers to bring down the inflammation. two puffs twice a day. also albuterol to clear the lungs. also popping all my vitamins (multi, calcium supplemnts) and also adding in chinese medicine pills. i'm also confined to my bedroom with my laptop and the ion airfilter that hunny gave me on. each day my dad asks if i feel better and yes, each day i do feel better since i'm resting. i think it's still so cute that after all these years he still likes to heal me. i guess it makes sense since he used to be a pharmacist and everything. haha. hopefully i'll be good to go for next week and be back to gymming and running.

on the flip side, i've been losing weight due to loss of muscle mass from the inactivity. darn it! i run a half marathon and i gain weight. i sit on my ass and do nothing, i lose weight! of course biologically i know the reasons why. muscle weighs more than fat, if i'm gaining muscle then i'm going to gain weight. i'm just complaining...i hate being shut up indoors and i hate being sick.

i think this time i'm sticking with the resting though. hunny and i had visited his grandmother in the hospital. she's there often because she's been smoking since she was 13 and has emphysema. each breath she takes just seems like such a struggle. but she still can't quit smoking! anyways, it made me wonder - having emphysema must feel like you have one huge asthma attack. that would be horrible! then my dad told me that if i keep coughing and wheezing and don't heal myself, i could have emphysema later on in life! scary, i didn't know that! so i'm going to be really good about taking care of myself now.