it's been a while

i know it's been a while. been too busy to post. also sometimes i feel i can't be truly candid on here. but i suppose i should give some updates.

been at the new job for a few months now. love the job but at times it's definitely challenging. it's all about influencing without authority and utilizing interpersonal skills. i still feel like i really haven't been able to really dig into it, but i need to push myself to take those extra steps. i have a book elaine bought me on some of the finer points of investment M&A and venture capital which i still have to finish reading. it's been a great experience meeting with some of the top vc's and banks. still more to go! i'm really excited about getting the opportunity to "look under the hood" and see what goes on behind the scenes. it's an opportunity of a lifetime that i've been given and i'm thankful each day that i was so fortunate. *happy*

yogurt shop is still up and running, but less time to put there now and really hard to balance everything i want to do. been lucky elaine has been able to put in a lot more time. but i feel like the first year i put in a lot since i was there every day almost. although, so was she. maybe i just don't have as much energy? i'm getting lazy about it. need to change that.

went to HK for cousin's wedding, had an awesome time. people keep asking what i did there, expecting to hear tons of stories of fun parties, eating, etc. actually the best part was just hanging out with my cousins, aunt and uncles, my grandpa, and just seeing how they are day to day. everyone is getting older, priorities have changed. i see how my cousin and his new wife love eachother and how each day they still have to deal with all the distractions of daily life, living together. they realized that you have to get married when the relationship is at a high point. when that moment has passed, it's different. i see how goo ma and goo jeung cherish eachother more now that they are older. goo jieh is happier now and sad to see her daughter engaged only because that means she will be staying in toronto and not moving back to HK. she's engaged to a doctor so i'm assuming that goo jieh approves of her fiance. however from what i'm told, fiance's family is difficult to get along with since they are not very easy going and extremely particular. grandpa seems lonelier and keeps telling me that a simple lifestyle is better because when you work too much, you worry too much. he seems like he wishes things were different, however if put in the same situations again, he would have made the same decisions because he believed they were right. i completely understand how he feels. i've made decisions in my life too which might not have ended up right, but at the time i would not have changed my decision.

fitness: went on a 2 hour high intensity hike and also went running in HK. then i got sick. doh. went on a date saturday and as part of the date we went to work out at the gym in four seasons. great gym! kinda funny that i ended up at a gym during a date, but oh well! haven't been since saturday but will go gymming wednesday. i want to push myself harder to watch my diet to really see results. for the past few years, i'm just at equilibrium. i don't really gain but i don't really lose either.

love life...well i've been meeting people. i still talk to L though as friends. many times i find myself thinking - this guy and that guy, although they are fine, they are not as cute, funny, driven as L. but, i also know i'm remembering my feelings for L at happier times. when i think of the last few months of out relationship, i still remember how unhappy i was the day we broke up. it makes me sad that i was so happy with him but just seems like some things were not a match. things that seemingly were small, but over time they are big things. in observing my relatives, i can see how all my mom's words are right. it's important not only to choose the person, but the family and upbringing make a huge difference when over 20-30 years. i hate that my mom is right. and it's difficult because the feelings i had overshadowed L's list of traits by far. it's not everyday i fall in love.

but...in meeting all the new people lately, it's hard to find that perfect person. the people i'm attracted to and have the most chemistry with are not the same people that have the best "list" for a future husband.

*sigh*